In attempt to love thyself.. HLR Volume III
Size 0, size 0, size 0. While I pull my Naked and Famous, True Religion and Cheap Monday jeans out of my closet, I come to one realization: I am no longer a size zero. Being thicker than a snickers is something that is glorified in the Black community while being tooth pick thin is the norm of the general population. I struggle. Having been skinny since as long as I remember, there is definite issue brewing on both sides of the fence. The battle ensues.
As time passes, I question myself. It's been a whole year since this weight gain, a whole year since I fit into those lovely 24's.. So now I'm wondering, since when did the weight issue become a numbers game? Why am I worried about the size my tag says and not the actually state of my health? You hear about "reports" all the time that says if you're 23 with no kids,5"4 you should be x amount of pounds and that is just simply not the case.
After passing by a fellow bloggers blog noting that a certain someone went and ranted about word play concerning a shirt. I decided to inspect myself. Sure I had been wanting to tone up, not necessarily lose weight. It would be great to fit into those jeans I spent so much money on, but like in business what's the cost-benefit analysis? The issue is prevalent everywhere you turn. It's hard to avoid it. It seems as if every week, IFB's weekly round-up consists of utterly bitter women complaining that someone said something concerning fat or skinny people. Where does this animosity come from? Why is it fat vs. skinny? Why is it always eat more or eat less?
What I realized is that people fail to understand, it does not matter how much you eat or how often you eat that controls your weight. There are other factors to it such as genetics, metabolism, enzyme break down etc. Tyra Banks admitted to devouring burgers and fries throughout her model career and remained skinny through exercising. Does that mean her health was in tip top shape? Not necessarily.
On the other hand Jennifer Hudson started eating healthier to lose weight." J-Hud refuses to say how much weight she's lost or how much she plans to lose because her goal is to be healthier, not skinnier"
Deciding to "eat more" or "eat less" suddenly disappears as the primary issue. Now it's what to eat that will build my metabolism, feed my body the nutrients it deserves and keep my vitals at a healthy rate.
So as I embark on a healthier lifestyle, one thing stands out in the back of my mind. I am not exercising and eating better so I can look good in a bikini, I'm doing it so the next time I run up 5 flights of steps to my apartment I am not winded. I want to feel good and say "damn, maybe I'll do that again" and actually do it again.
As for the fence that I spoke about earlier, I'll still be in the middle. A spectator to the entire thing.
If you click away from this post with one thing, I would hope that it's this: Real women don't come with size tags and that's real talk.
As time passes, I question myself. It's been a whole year since this weight gain, a whole year since I fit into those lovely 24's.. So now I'm wondering, since when did the weight issue become a numbers game? Why am I worried about the size my tag says and not the actually state of my health? You hear about "reports" all the time that says if you're 23 with no kids,5"4 you should be x amount of pounds and that is just simply not the case.
After passing by a fellow bloggers blog noting that a certain someone went and ranted about word play concerning a shirt. I decided to inspect myself. Sure I had been wanting to tone up, not necessarily lose weight. It would be great to fit into those jeans I spent so much money on, but like in business what's the cost-benefit analysis? The issue is prevalent everywhere you turn. It's hard to avoid it. It seems as if every week, IFB's weekly round-up consists of utterly bitter women complaining that someone said something concerning fat or skinny people. Where does this animosity come from? Why is it fat vs. skinny? Why is it always eat more or eat less?
What I realized is that people fail to understand, it does not matter how much you eat or how often you eat that controls your weight. There are other factors to it such as genetics, metabolism, enzyme break down etc. Tyra Banks admitted to devouring burgers and fries throughout her model career and remained skinny through exercising. Does that mean her health was in tip top shape? Not necessarily.
On the other hand Jennifer Hudson started eating healthier to lose weight." J-Hud refuses to say how much weight she's lost or how much she plans to lose because her goal is to be healthier, not skinnier"
Deciding to "eat more" or "eat less" suddenly disappears as the primary issue. Now it's what to eat that will build my metabolism, feed my body the nutrients it deserves and keep my vitals at a healthy rate.
So as I embark on a healthier lifestyle, one thing stands out in the back of my mind. I am not exercising and eating better so I can look good in a bikini, I'm doing it so the next time I run up 5 flights of steps to my apartment I am not winded. I want to feel good and say "damn, maybe I'll do that again" and actually do it again.
As for the fence that I spoke about earlier, I'll still be in the middle. A spectator to the entire thing.
If you click away from this post with one thing, I would hope that it's this: Real women don't come with size tags and that's real talk.
Excellent post. You MUST not let a number determine your mood. That number is meaningless and inconsistent anyway! Check out my article on the topic:
http://befaithfulbefabulous.ca/2010/05/27/vanity-sizing-and-the-modern-woman/
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